When the choice is put before you of hearing the good news or the bad news which one do you pick? Twinkle always picks the bad news first and so out of devotion for my wife and best friend who dominates my thoughts and owns my heart we will go with her order of preference…
The bad news
Last night was a very light and broken night’s sleep. I’m very tired this morning and even writing this seems to be taking a lot more effort than usual. My sleep is horrendous and I need to return to being the good sleeper I was for the first 40 years of my life post-haste. For 3 years now I have suffered broken sleep on a near enough consistent basis. Ironically I have always been the type of person you want to avoid when they are tired and so I’m surprised I still have friends left after the last 3 years of insomnia. Over the past few months I have been developing a list of rules for sleep but observing them has been very sporadic. Here are the rules;
- Leave your mobile phone outside of the bedroom
- Stop using your phone after 8pm especially for social media etc
- Don’t eat after tea especially sugary things
- Be in bed for as close to 10pm as you can manage
- Start winding your mind down after 8pm – avoid things like high tension dramas
- Don’t drink anything after 8pm to avoid multiple visits to the wee house
- If you must have the radio on avoid a certain sports discussion show
- If you must have music on let it be very gentle music
- Focus on your breathing, breathe deeply and freely
- Burn lavender in the room
- Keep the room slightly cold
The needle queen recently told me to fight to control your mind. As a result you may have 99 thoughts instead of the 100 you had last night. Eventually you will be able to settle your mind. So far all of the above haven’t worked but if I’m being fair a lot of them involve changing the habits of a lifetime. It’s a theme at the moment but I need to grasp the nettle, get on with it and take sleep seriously.
The good news
Bless us all I thought we were never going to reach the point of sharing this. The bad news must have taken 40 minutes or so to write as my brain is on a go slow.
Yesterday I visited my friendly GP and he was delighted with my progress. I even thought I seen surprise on his face when I shared with him that on Wednesday I was both on my bike and in the sea swimming. After a chat we have agreed to formalise what we had hoped for last month. I will indeed return to work in November. His suggestion is that it isn’t on a full time basis but feels wisdom dictates a slow and gradual phasing in to normal duties. He is very clear however that this is a decision for my employer and not himself or me.
I can’t wait to get back to work, I have thoroughly enjoyed the last month as I have witnessed my body take strides towards recovery. This is a great time but also a dangerous time. Friends who have suffered the same illness warn me not to run before I walk. I’ve relearnt how to crawl but as yet there is more learning to do. To walk I will need to bring balance to my life and keep short accounts with my body. A late night strategizing with a youth group could lead to ground zero for the next couple of days. Pushing too hard on the exercise front could indeed do the same. It’s time for wisdom and discipline. I would appreciate from those of you who pray your prayers. God has been at the centre of my recovery and I continue to lean on Him for more.
Have a fantastic weekend… talk soon!