Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Purple flush...

Today I thought I would write something lighter in nature… You know I’ve done some strange things in an effort to recover from Chronic Fatigue but this is by far the worst.  My acupuncturist aka “The Needle Queen” told me to get more salt (not sodium) in my system.  One of the ways she suggested was to eat Dulce.  Living beside the sea there is no shortage of the stuff around these parts and so I thought the next time I see it for sale I’ll grab a bag.

There Twinkle and I stood in a local Spar when some Dolce caught my eye.  I grabbed a bag and whilst walking to the till asked the lady how much it was.  When she replied £1 I nearly lost my breath but pride got the better of me and I handed over my money.  I had better like this I thought to myself.

Dulce - the powerful purple laxative... 
By accident that evening I left the little bag of costly nutrition in the car and so further encounters with the purple stuff would have to wait to the next day.  Morning came with lots of sun and as I entered the hot car I wondered what the stale smell of a fishing port was doing in my car.  Quickly I located the odour to the bag of weed (sea).  Barely able to stick the smell of it I opened my car window and put off trying to eat it to later.

Later came as did hunger so I opened the bag and tried not to inhale whilst I chewed on a piece. As I chewed I knew instantly it wasn’t good! With the texture of skin and the taste to match the smell of the aforementioned harbour I quickly chewed and swallowed.  Like a bush tucker trial I conquered the gag factor and with both relief and pride thought I’ll never do that again.  Half an hour later and… well lets just say my guts flushed themselves.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – never eat anything purple, no good can come from it!

Ps Thank you to the reader who suggested a Pilates class I could join led by Niall Moraghan, I start on Monday and will let you all know how I get on... keep your eyes peeled!

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