On Monday I decided to ‘start’ to take back control of the helm. Whilst that sounds very dramatic if I’m honest, this illness has held me captive for 4 months now and I’m starting to buckle under the weight of it. Morale comes and goes like the tide and if I’m honest so does my focus on getting well. On reflection I was allowing emotion to be the wind in my sails and worse my ship was rudderless and all at sea. I had lost both my way and my hope.
It’s time NOW to allow discipline & faith to be the wind that fills my sails instead of fatigue and emotion. Let’s lower the flag of victimhood and raise the flag of recovery. As I start to learn more about this illness I realise that it’s very different from any illness I have suffered from in the past. It’s neither the flu nor the cold that the body can defeat with little effort. Recovery is going to take both focus and effort, ironically a thing this illness has mostly robbed me off. What energy I have left needs wisely invested.
|Time to leave harbour ...|
So where does recovery start? Belief has to be the key, belief that recovery can and will happen. Belief that whilst the health related decisions I make today may not make me feel instantly better today nor even tomorrow but that they will indeed combine to play part of my recovery in time. From here on in its belief not doubt, its positivity with not an inch given to negativity. This ship is sailing out of the harbour of illness and captivity and out in the wild adventurous waters of life beyond…