Johnny Cash sang a song called "The beast in me" which always resonated with myself, it’s all about the dark side within him. The dark side we all have if we're honest, the side that lives in the cracks of our persona and distorts and destroys brings temptation and corrupts. For him his struggle was with drugs but he also shared in stuff that he wrote that it could relate to lust, greed, jealousy etc.
For me the strongest beast within me has always been Mr Comfort Eater. He tells ferociously cruel lies in the most luring way and as the song states can be as deceptive as to “pretend to be a teddy bear”. Once the lie has been accepted and the trap sprung the beast released can be all consuming. This week he rattled his cage, I gave him some attention and old habits, thought patterns and behaviours returned.
He's low down scum as he picked a very tense week full of pressure, mistakes and illness. On reflection it’s easy to forget that whilst having 7 months of success I’m still and always will be a recovering over eater. Yes in strong recovery but that does not make me invincible. If I choose to listen to the beast at the moment he’s telling me that it’s over, I’ve failed and he’s won. My response to his lie I choose not to publish but a very famous photo of Johnny Cash comes to mind and those who are fans of him will know the one I mean.
Lesson re-learnt lets journey on…