I have known for a long time that I can take many things seriously except for myself. In work I have been known to be strategic, forward thinking, motivated, practical and driven. Within most external areas of my life I’m an activist and a pragmatist, I have a positive outlook and can achieve most things I set my mind to.
Then when it comes to me I am the least of my supporters, my biggest doubter and my loudest mocker. I’ve hurt myself internally so many times that I’ve stopped noticing when I do it. As a result my emotional wellbeing is often in a poor state of affairs and my emotional intelligence struggles to be heard. I often wobble inside like a jelly and then use food to bring stability and comfort. If not for that then I use food to ram back down the emotional turmoil that is bubbling over inside me.
Again like with my racing head in the previous post this emotional and internal sabotage needs to stop. I need to stop being the perfectionist taskmaster within myself and towards myself.
When I experience error or failure in whatever sphere of life I want it to be just that and not as the result of a self fulfilling prophecy. I need to take my inner being seriously, appreciate its value and nurture it.