Sunday, August 10, 2008

Nuturing my internal being...

I have known for a long time that I can take many things seriously except for myself. In work I have been known to be strategic, forward thinking, motivated, practical and driven. Within most external areas of my life I’m an activist and a pragmatist, I have a positive outlook and can achieve most things I set my mind to.

Then when it comes to me I am the least of my supporters, my biggest doubter and my loudest mocker. I’ve hurt myself internally so many times that I’ve stopped noticing when I do it. As a result my emotional wellbeing is often in a poor state of affairs and my emotional intelligence struggles to be heard. I often wobble inside like a jelly and then use food to bring stability and comfort. If not for that then I use food to ram back down the emotional turmoil that is bubbling over inside me.
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Again like with my racing head in the previous post this emotional and internal sabotage needs to stop. I need to stop being the perfectionist taskmaster within myself and towards myself.

When I experience error or failure in whatever sphere of life I want it to be just that and not as the result of a self fulfilling prophecy. I need to take my inner being seriously, appreciate its value and nurture it.

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